June 2026

You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.”

But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons [and daughters] of your Father who is in heaven. For He makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?And if you greet only your brothers [and sisters], what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5:43-48)

Every Christian tradition agrees on one issue. Love is a fundamental principle of God’s Kingdom and Christian faith.

Love of God and neighbor is the Great Commandment on which all other commandments of God depend. (Matthew 22:37-40) Our faith works through love. (Galatians 5:6) We are to speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15) People will know we are disciples of Jesus by how we love one another. (John 13:35) And the list goes on ….

I write about the importance of love often. I have also written about the continued shrinkage in the number of Americans who identify as Christian. In this column, my purpose is to show how our misunderstanding of biblical love and its importance is a primary cause of that shrinkage.

The New Testament uses two Greek words for “love” – “philia” and “agape.” Both describe something the Lord wants us to have, but there is one particularly important distinction between them.

“Philia” refers to the love someone has for their own people – family members, friends, and other people with whom they have significant things in common. This type of love has a sense of reciprocity and mutual benefit. An offshoot of “philia” – “philadelphia” – combines “philia” and the Greek word for “brother” five times in the New Testament to describe the love we are to have for our sisters and brothers in Christ.

Agape love, on the other hand, refers to the type of love God has for every person on this planet and the type of love He wants Christians to have for everyone He loves. The Great Commandment is about agape love of both God and neighbor, and this agape love of neighbor is different than philia love because it does not include a sense of reciprocity or mutual benefit. It does not require us to have anything in common beyond the fact God loves us all. Agape love is unconditional. It comes from the Holy Spirit dwelling within us (Romans 5:5)

Agape love is revealed perfectly in Jesus and well described in the scriptures of 1 John, 1 Corinthians 13, and the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) Agape love is selfless, serving, and sacrificial; kind and patient, but unrelenting; forgiving of wrongdoing, but never celebrating or empowering sin; inviting and encouraging, but when necessary the tough love of discipline (Hebrews 12:5-11) Agape love is for friend, foe, and stranger (Matthew 5:43-48). 

The two most challenging truths about agape love are, first, that it cannot simply be lip service. We must love in truth and deed (1 John 3:18). Second, if we do not get agape love right, we are nothing, have nothing, and gain nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)! 

1 John 4 expresses the most heartrending truth about agape love. God is agape love, and those who do not love with agape love do not know God (1 John 4:8).

One of my favorite bible passages is Acts 2:42-47 because it describes a Church in its infancy filled with agape love for God, each other, and everyone else in their communities. Because of this, they had the favor of all the people and the Lord added daily to their number those who were choosing to trust Jesus and receive everlasting life. 

Tragically, however, much of the Church has lost the love they had at first (Revelation 2:4) We see today, with many wonderful exceptions, the same problem we have seen throughout history where the ways of the world – greed, politics, racism, nationalism, fear, and hate  – penetrate the Body of Christ, displace agape love, and replace it with the philia love we can much more easily have for those think like, look like, believe like, behave like, and vote like us.

As Jesus so powerfully said in His Sermon on the Mount, “Even the Gentiles do that.” Why surrender lordship of your life to Jesus when Christian love is no different than non-Christian (Gentile) love?

The key to seeing the United States truly become “one nation under God” is a Body of Christ demonstrating the agape love of God every day in every way to everyone. Nothing else will work.

God bless you and God bless America.

  … But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers [and sisters],these things ought not to be so. (James 3:8-10)

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)

My generation heard this phrase often: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The intended result was to help children withstand insults and teasing from other children without lasting hurt or retaliation. But tragically, this well-intended lesson contains a terrible deception. Words can hurt people. Words can hurt the people targeted and the people who say them.

As a pastoral marriage counselor and family law mediator, I heard countless descriptions of heated marital arguments. People never remembered what they said in anger to their spouse, but they always remembered what their spouse said in anger to them. Those words were now tattoos on their soul, obstructing their ability to believe their spouse loved them.

Likewise, in prayer & counsel ministry to individuals, I have listened to story after story of children – now adults – whose sense of identity was shaped by the negative words of their parents, caregivers, and peers. They could not love or value themselves because of the unloving words spoken to them.

This harm to the listener(s) can clearly bring harm to the speaker when the listener is someone that you love, like, or need. But be warned. It will also bring harm to you when you dislike or simply do not care about the listener(s) because Jesus has declared that “on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak ….” (Matthew 12:36) God cares about what we say to everybody because God loves everybody. (Matthew 5:43-48; 1 John 4:20-21)

Scripture tells us repeatedly that our little tongues are important. Our tongue can stain our whole body and set the entire course of our life. (James 3:6) We can choose to bless or curse, and our Lord commands us to always bless and never curse because even death and life are in the power of the tongue. (Luke 6:27-28; Proverbs 18:21)

What is the biblical standard for what we say? “No corrupting talk ….” None! We grow up into Christ by “speaking the truth in love” – speaking only what builds up and gives grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:15, 29). 

What is this “corrupting talk” our Lord commands us to avoid? We are not to speak words that are deceptive, slanderous, condemning, mocking, belittling, vindictive, threatening, vain glorious, uncaring, judgmental, divisive, envious, or hateful. We are not to speak words that breed fear, despair, or anger against other people. The scriptural citations are too numerous to list here.

We live in a political climate of corrupting talk. Our President may be the champion of this both at the microphone and on social media, but it exists on all sides of the political divide. And podcasters, both secular and faith-based, are obtaining great wealth and celebrity by embracing this “style” of communication.

In addressing this, I am not seeking to be political or address how anyone votes or prioritizes their political and social issues. My interest is in seeing God’s Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven, and I believe the most important scriptural truth we have on corrupting talk is this: “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Matthew 12:34, 15:18; Luke 6:45) 

What people say reveals what is in their heart. Lying words may deceive for a short while but, like blessing God while you curse those made in His image, they will over time be seen for what they are. Ungodly words reveal an ungodly heart that will, in the end, produce ungodly fruit. (Luke 6:43-45) And when we respond enthusiastically to ungodly speech, we may reveal something that is in our own hearts.

No one is perfect. (Romans 3:23) We are all works in progress, but praise God, we are God’s works in progress. (Ephesians 2:10) The Book of Proverbs advises us to pray that God will help us guard what comes out of our mouth. (13:3, 141:3) This reminds us that no person can tame the tongue on their own, but with God’s help, we can edit what we think before we speak. The goodness God has placed in our hearts can override our broken thoughts before they come out of our mouth.

With God’s help, we can watch what we say.

God bless you and God bless our community.