… But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers [and sisters],these things ought not to be so. (James 3:8-10)
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)
My generation heard this phrase often: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The intended result was to help children withstand insults and teasing from other children without lasting hurt or retaliation. But tragically, this well-intended lesson contains a terrible deception. Words can hurt people. Words can hurt the people targeted and the people who say them.
As a pastoral marriage counselor and family law mediator, I heard countless descriptions of heated marital arguments. People never remembered what they said in anger to their spouse, but they always remembered what their spouse said in anger to them. Those words were now tattoos on their soul, obstructing their ability to believe their spouse loved them.
Likewise, in prayer & counsel ministry to individuals, I have listened to story after story of children – now adults – whose sense of identity was shaped by the negative words of their parents, caregivers, and peers. They could not love or value themselves because of the unloving words spoken to them.
This harm to the listener(s) can clearly bring harm to the speaker when the listener is someone that you love, like, or need. But be warned. It will also bring harm to you when you dislike or simply do not care about the listener(s) because Jesus has declared that “on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak ….” (Matthew 12:36) God cares about what we say to everybody because God loves everybody. (Matthew 5:43-48; 1 John 4:20-21)
Scripture tells us repeatedly that our little tongues are important. Our tongue can stain our whole body and set the entire course of our life. (James 3:6) We can choose to bless or curse, and our Lord commands us to always bless and never curse because even death and life are in the power of the tongue. (Luke 6:27-28; Proverbs 18:21)
What is the biblical standard for what we say? “No corrupting talk ….” None! We grow up into Christ by “speaking the truth in love” – speaking only what builds up and gives grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:15, 29).
What is this “corrupting talk” our Lord commands us to avoid? We are not to speak words that are deceptive, slanderous, condemning, mocking, belittling, vindictive, threatening, vain glorious, uncaring, judgmental, divisive, envious, or hateful. We are not to speak words that breed fear, despair, or anger against other people. The scriptural citations are too numerous to list here.
We live in a political climate of corrupting talk. Our President may be the champion of this both at the microphone and on social media, but it exists on all sides of the political divide. And podcasters, both secular and faith-based, are obtaining great wealth and celebrity by embracing this “style” of communication.
In addressing this, I am not seeking to be political or address how anyone votes or prioritizes their political and social issues. My interest is in seeing God’s Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven, and I believe the most important scriptural truth we have on corrupting talk is this: “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Matthew 12:34, 15:18; Luke 6:45)
What people say reveals what is in their heart. Lying words may deceive for a short while but, like blessing God while you curse those made in His image, they will over time be seen for what they are. Ungodly words reveal an ungodly heart that will, in the end, produce ungodly fruit. (Luke 6:43-45) And when we respond enthusiastically to ungodly speech, we may reveal something that is in our own hearts.
No one is perfect. (Romans 3:23) We are all works in progress, but praise God, we are God’s works in progress. (Ephesians 2:10) The Book of Proverbs advises us to pray that God will help us guard what comes out of our mouth. (13:3, 141:3) This reminds us that no person can tame the tongue on their own, but with God’s help, we can edit what we think before we speak. The goodness God has placed in our hearts can override our broken thoughts before they come out of our mouth.
With God’s help, we can watch what we say.
God bless you and God bless our community.